What a strange feeling

I just learned that a guy who graduated 4 years behind me from Canton died in a car accident early this morning.

I never really knew him that well or had any interactions with him.  He had a sister that was a year older than me in school and I guess I knew her better than I knew him.  There wasn't much familiarity with anyone outside of names and what they were involved in during school.  

But when I heard about it, I was immediately struck with sadness.  I watched this guy play sports with my brother throughout his career and through that got to know his dad and mom pretty well.  

The family is in a tough situation.  Their son just died, and their grandfather--legendary South Dakota High School football coach Burdell Coplan--is not doing well either.  This family is in immediate need of prayer.

This blog has almost 550 views.  I'm not sure who is reading it.  But if you're reading it, please lift up the Kroger family in your prayers.

Not what I thought

It's been a long time since I've posted anything here.

Mostly because I have started to student teach.

I can't even tell you how tiring it is to teach all day.  I never thought it would be so tiring, both emotionally and physically.  But, nevertheless, it is.

I am at an elementary school in the mornings and a middle school in the afternoons.  The elementary is something I never thought I'd do.  But, I was wrong.  It's something I would never do, EVER.  Holy crap is it not fun at all for me.  I'm so into making music and doing higher level music that this elementary "exposure" to music thing is not my cup of tea.  It's easy and all, but it's just a bunch of moving and dancing and singing in one part.

I know everyone has to start somewhere, but the start is not the place for me.

What excites me about student teaching is the fact that I get to be at Lincoln High School for about 8 weeks.  It will be a great experience to be and a High School that has choirs only.  I'm yearning for a choir like nobodies business.

All of this student teaching stuff has been combined with still working at RadioShack and having my boss not realize that I have something that takes so much out of me that I am almost worthless working my 6-9 shift after school.  The people that work at that place are very much into RadioShack as a company.  I think the people that run RadioShack are the reason our nation is in debt.

RadioShack is making quite a bit of money.  We sell mostly component parts and cables.  Ask anyone in electronics, those are the products that we make the most money on.  So, from what I gather, we make pretty good money for the company, but are only being paid $7.25 an hour to do everything.

Bottom line, don't ever work there.

This turned into a great ranting post, but, what can ya do.

Life gets hard

Life gets hard.

If someone told me that when I was 5 I would have laughed and went and jumped on my bed or something.

If someone had told me that when I was 15 I would have said something like, "yeah, you try living through middle school."

Now that I'm realizing that life actually does get hard, and stress can sometimes overtake you to where you are acting very rudely to even those closest to you, I'm so thankful for my God.

Today, a large change happened.  I had to move in with my roommate again for the school year.  I love my roommate, but he has to get up for work at 7, which means he'll go to sleep at around 11 at the latest.  Me on the other hand, I go to sleep at about 11 at the earliest.  This will be interesting.

Another new change is coming.  In a week and a half I start student teaching.  To add to that stress, I have another placement.  This means that I will be in an elementary school for the morning and a middle school for the afternoons.  And that's just the first half of my placement.  For the second half, I will be at Lincoln High School actually doing what I want to do; upper level music.

And to top it all off, add this to the stress pile; a job where I'm expected to essentially be a manager with more hours than I could ever want to work.

All of this stress has shaken me pretty solidly.  However, this afternoon, I sat down and prayed harder than I've ever prayed.  God answered me right away--not with some crazy James Earl Jones esque  voice--but with an overwhelming sense of calm that says, it's going to be ok.

Yeah.  It's going to be ok.

Unforgettable

Tonight, was one of the greatest nights I can remember.  Oddly enough, it started out with the potential to be one of the worst nights ever.

Today, both Esther and I had awful days at work.  We both felt restless and actually debated upon doing something illegal just to fulfill our restlessness.  After much sitting and thinking of things to do (the most illegal thing we thought of doing was sneaking into the Palisades to climb rocks--I know, we're rebels) we ended up having a long conversation about how we are both restless and we both aren't feeling ok.

It ended up with us praying together for around 40 minutes.  This wasn't your normal prayer.  Let me tell you, randomly feeling the power of the Holy Spirit in an impromptu prayer in your dorm room is something that everyone should experience.  During this prayer, something in me just told me to sing "Forever Reign".

This song, made both of us break down and cry.  There is so much truth in that song.

This is all sort of choppy and strange sounding, but that is because I am in awe of the power of God.  I cannot explain what I am feeling, but I'm so very thankful that I have a God that meets me exactly where I am, even if it's a dorm room.

You are good, You are goodWhen there's nothing good in meYou are love, You are loveOn display for all to seeYou are light, You are lightWhen the darkness closes inYou are hope, You are hopeYou have covered all my sin
You are peace, You are peaceWhen my fear is cripplingYou are true, You are trueEven in my wanderingYou are joy, You are joyYou're the reason that I singYou are life, You are life,In You death has lost its sting
Oh, I'm running to Your arms,I'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
You are more, You are moreThan my words will ever sayYou are Lord, You are LordAll creation will proclaimYou are here, You are hereIn Your presence I'm made wholeYou are God, You are GodOf all else I'm letting go
Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign
My heart will singno other NameJesus, Jesus
Oh, I'm running to Your armsI'm running to Your armsThe riches of Your loveWill always be enoughNothing compares to Your embraceLight of the world forever reign

Letting the cat out of the bag

Lately, I've been talking with Esther about being able to be comfortable enough to let people in on a secret of mine.  What better way to do that than write something on a blog that maybe one person a day reads?  Meh, it's a start.

I come off as very intimidating, often leading people to think I'm a hardass or I don't care for people.  This couldn't be further from the truth.

Truth is, I'm a gigantic softie who will tear up at any given moment when something is sad.  I have an uncanny ability to cry during song (probably why I'm a music major) and have a heart that dwarfs the state of Texas.

My new challenge in life is to be more willing to share my heart with the world.

Thanks to the encouraging words of Dietrich Bonhoeffer this morning, I know that this is something God has placed on my heart, and I am so excited to see what this move does for my life as well as the lives of those around me.