Why does the future scare us (specifically me) so badly sometimes? Today, I had a mild meltdown on the sheer thought that I might fail my Praxis test coming up tomorrow. Why I'm taking time out of studying to write this is still beyond me, but, here I am.
The Bible says many times to not be worried about the future. Why do I do it though? I think my worries are largely due to my want to control things. I like to know exactly what I'm doing and what my plan is going to be through life. I don't like to plan activities, but I like to plan my life--wrap your mind around that.
I think this whole Praxis test has me worried because suddenly I'm doubting that I actually want to be a music teacher. I would love to teach people how to sing, as well as direct choirs, but what God has really laid on me lately is a heart for worship. Being a worship leader (or whatever you want to call it) is something I think I could devote my entire life to. Leading people to a place of worship, whether that be through music or another media, is something I feel called to do.
We'll see where it takes me.
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